The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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