Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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