How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
