Your dad touched me again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
