Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
