She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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