Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
