apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
