Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
