how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
