she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
