Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
