You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You may now shotgun with the bride
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
