Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
