There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
