i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
