HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
