I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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