I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
