i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
