This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
