her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
