went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
