Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
