i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize