She said her name was "party"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
