I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
