More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
