I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize