Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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