No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
