Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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