I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
