redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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