I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
