Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
