dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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