i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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