At least make sure they are 18
Why
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
