that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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