I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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