I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
