I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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