what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
