I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
