I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
