Sponge bath it is.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
