Soap is not a condiment
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is Oprah even human
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
