Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
