so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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