Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
