why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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