So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize