My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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