So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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