Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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