He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
honey bunches of taint.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
