Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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