How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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