my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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