so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
