Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
