They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
